- Category: Maleness
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In today's culture, you will rarely see an article or news program complimenting traditional "manhood", males, or men, their virtues, or the significance of their contributions to society. How can you, as a male, feel that you are significant and valued under this cultural "pounding"?
Here are three things you need to do in order to feel good about yourself despite what society or the media is saying about you:
- Focus on your own contributions and character vs. "superiority" or what others are saying about you (or your "group").
- Choose to believe the science of human physiology/biology and historically successful cultural models established over thousands of years.
- Disregard the rhetoric that is aimed at undermining your sense of self-worth, making almost everything you do or say become a "micro-aggression, blaming you for things done by ancestors, or pinning you with labels based on characteristics totally not under your control.
For centuries, traditional males and manhood were actually considered superior in many respects. Some of this was prejudicial discrimination against the other gender (like women not being able to reason, vote, drive, do math, etc.) and some of it was based on the importance of dominating or producing via superior physical strength in past eras. The prejudice was unfair -- and the advantage of strength has been somewhat neutralized via machines and the computer.
Women and non-traditional sex orientations are largely protected from critical commentary today due to a desire to make up for previous discrimination, political correctness (whether fair or over-the-top), and a culture where, even, the smallest micro-aggression is considered valid and out-of-bounds.
Traditional maleness is fair game in the media, on the other hand, in this same culture. There is clearly a double-standard, but, as a male, your can't say very much about it without seeming to be whining, defensive, or insensitive to previous injustices suffered by the other gender and sexual orientations.
Traditional male "worth" as a superior provider is largely diminished with so many important careers not involving physical strength. (The myths about women and math/science/reasoning/mechanics are simply not true, of course.)
Traditional male "worth" as a superior protector is also somewhat diminished with firearms (if not deemed illegal) and modern weapons systems of today -- although there are still many situations where physical strength advantages are very important.
Traditional male superiority in many sports is still significant in many sports, but only a relatively small percentage of population is actually involved in sports as anything other than a hobby.
Also, women have the big advantage of actually being able to have babies. While men contribute, their role can be somewhat supplanted by advancements in medical science. The role of mother in our society is honored above the role of father. Single mothers are held in very high esteem.
Your Self-Beliefs and Attitude as a Traditional Male
If your beliefs are such that your self-esteem and happiness depend on being genetically, culturally, physically, intellectually, financially, sexually, or positionally superior to someone else, you simply won't find lasting joy, love, and significance in your life.
So, re-examine whether such superiority is fundamental to your beliefs about your self-worth and happiness. If this is the case, try to start defining yourself based on internally controllable factors (such as character, effort level, disposition), service to others (those closest to you as well as "strangers"), and eternity (soul, heaven, contribution to important causes).
Develop and leverage the strengths and abilities you have -- and don't give credence to those who put these special strengths and abilities down. Whether you are male or not, there will always be people who want to make you do less than you are capable of or feel bad about being extremely good in some area. The difference in today's society is that you, as a traditional male, won't experience much support or good press about these strengths because the culture is very busy trying "level the playing field" or make up for previous inequities (whether you personally had anything to do with them or not).
Don't depend on outdated views of the importance of physical superiority in producing or protecting, or male contributions to the pregnancy process, for your self-esteem. Update your views. Don't be the person who is hanging on to the past when the world has moved on to new technologies. Up your game to the new reality.
Just because you don't actually have the baby, your importance as the husband and father in the family shouldn't be under-rated -- if you do your job. Being the donor of the sperm is good, but it isn't as important as living up to your obligations to the family in so many other respects.
Maybe one reason males are under attack is that so many have abdicated family responsibilities -- so don't be one of those guys and you don't have to think they are talking about you when negative comments about men are being made.
Having irresponsible sex with multiple women is not a sign of manhood or being an adult. In fact, it is the opposite. The media and peer pressure promote the idea that multiple sex partners is a positive to be admired and envied. It really shows lack of love and respect for the other person, however, and you should avoid it.
Have confidence in your creation and being as a man. You can read about human beings as a men and women physiologically and genetically in any medical science book. You can look at how things have been 95%+ in the history of humanity as well. (You can also read about this in the first few pages of the Bible, of course.)
You should be able to feel confident that it isn't odd or fringe thinking to come to the conclusion that people were made as man and woman -- and that it has "worked out" from the standpoint of continuing the species and societal organization of family units.
People who are in a very small minority opinion with very little physiological or historical support for their "world view" on sexes and gender should bear an enormous weight of burden of proof to "prove beyond a reasonable doubt" that their position on maleness and femaleness are correct -- not those with the traditional view. This is true regardless of their enthusiasm, backing as politically correct, or pressure to agree.
A real man will be OK with others making their own choices non-traditional choices regarding sex and gender, but he won't feel intimidated into denying his own traditional view.
If you happen to have a non-traditional view of your own sex and gender role, you are the only person who really knows whether you feel that this is right for you. Others aren't in your shoes and need to "live and let live". You are a valuable person in God's eyes and can be a loving person with a strong character.