These are several concerning topics that bother many young men and, simply, aren't addressed very many places. (Warning that there is a computer image of a circumcised and non-circumcised penis below.) This is a serious article for serious readers.

Information and opinions are presented in "bullet" form where possible for clarity and quickest reference. This isn't meant to be a "story" or essay.

Here are the topics that will be covered here (not in a particular order of importance except #1):

  1. Your penis is not your brain, mind or decision-maker
  2. Put-downs, jokes, and undermining your value
  3. Size doesn't really matter
  4. Shrinkage
  5. Puberty early or later
  6. Hard-ons
  7. Underwear
  8. Masturbation
  9. Circumcized or not
  10. Hanging to the left
  11. Breasts
  12. Urination issues
  13. Cleanliness and Grrooming -- front and back
  14. Getting hit in the "privates"
  15. Pregnancy
  16. Sexually transmitted diseases
  17. Condoms
  18. Erections and ED
  19. Premature ejaculation
  20. Infertility
  21. Vasectomy
  22. Health warnings vs. false alarms
  23. Hernia
  24. Prostate infections
  25. Testicular cancer

If you want a good medical website written by real doctors, take a look at:

Your Penis Is Not Your Brain, Mind or Decision-Maker

  • Your brain and mind are your decision-makers -- if you're smart and want to be successful.
  • Your emotions are signals about your values, but they shouldn't control what you do or say.
  • Your sexual urges are such signals.
  • Sexual urges are part of your God-given physiology and can be healthy.
  • It is worth your time to understand the sources of your emotions -- including what triggers your sexual urges.
  • It doesn't make you a bad person to have certain feelings.
  • Ask yourself if you really value physical pleasure uncoupled from love and relationships. Think about it.
  • Again, it doesn't make you a bad person to have certain feelings.
  • Act on the best within you. Get help if you need support for making these decisions.
  • Forgive yourself if you make mistakes.
  • Forgiveness doesn't mean there won't be consequences (and sex can be connected to some major consequences).
  • Act on the best within you.

Put-downs, Jokes, and Undermining Your Value

  • Younger and, even, older males seem to like to make fun of various male features or sex acts.
  • Some of this is good-natured and just needs to be taken as such.
  • Some of it is a subtle form of bullying and putting down the younger "less-endowed", however.
  • Regardless, it is not generally an esteem-builder that enhances your feelings of self-worth.
  • Much of it undermines your character, morals, confidence, and beliefs about sex as an act of love.
  • Rarely is this kidding very positive.
  • Be careful to avoid taking these comments to heart or letting them influence you -- even if they are "jokes".
  • Be careful, especially when you are with younger boys/men, to avoid being a "bully" or "put-down-artist".
  • Be a positive encourager, mentor, coach, and true friend. 

Size Doesn't Really Matter

  • "Size" is a cultural topic that comes up in sitcoms, movies, porn, and locker rooms. (See "jokes, etc." above.)
  • People will refer to "well endowed", "well-hung", or "X inches" as if this is some sort of virtue or superiority.
  • Non-erection size, however, has little or no relationship to erection size or hardness -- so why the locker room interest?
  • It's inferred in the media and culture that all women prefer a much larger male organ -- but that isn't a fact.
  • Studies indicate only a slight preference for over-average. Differences are within a few tenths of an inch, so who notices?
  • Your love, loyalty to your partner, patience, communication, sensitivity to what's working, and foreplay are what counts.
  • If you want something you can control, get it great shape. Women do like this. Your "stuff" will look larger in proportion.
  • Ignore it all and be a loving loyal partner. You will be fine.
  • The "size" stuff is all BS made up to give people something inconsequential to talk about.

Shrinkage

  • In case "size" wasn't a big enough concern...
  • Being in the cold or swimming may cause your penis and testicles to draw up. This is 100% normal!
  • There are guys who are concerned that someone may see them in the "locker room" after coming in from the cold.
  • Why do you care what they think? Again, this is just a cheap sitcom joke. Forget about it!
  • If you urgently need to pee, gently move the skin back and you may want to sit on the pot to avoid "misfire" spray.

Puberty Early or Later

  • Seems like an endless list of ways society has to make you feel bad about your sexual "gear", right?
  • You have no control over when you begin puberty, so let it be.
  • It's not a big deal and everyone goes through it -- although people seem to want to make a big deal of it.
  • Enjoy a few years less of sexual urges and focus on your schoolwork, athletics, music, church, good relationships, etc.
  • Your "gear" will be ready to go by the time it will be wise to get sexually involved.

Hard-ons

  • You can hide them better if you wear looser jeans, black pants, over-size hoodies, and longer jackets.
  • Every young man gets them -- especially teenagers.
  • Nevertheless, some people will try to make fun of you as if you are some kind of "freak" -- but everyone gets them.
  • They come at inappropriate or inopportune times -- for everyone, not just you.
  • Be ready with some excuses if you get one -- like, "I think I'm going to throw up." Buckle over. No one will bother you.
  • You can get rid of them by doing something -- like Math problems, exercise, washing the car, cutting firewood, etc.
  • If you get one when slow dancing with a girl, that is very normal. I have no advice for this. Pull away slightly, though.
  • Wearing snug underwear can help (see below).
  • Masturbating may help if it happens at night (see below).
  • If you have to pee when you have one of these, bend way over to give a straight path into the toilet.
  • Try to pee before you get one if you feel it coming on and feel that you are going to have to pee soon.
  • If you pee with one of these and it hurts, you may get some blood. You will heal, however, so relax.
  • I wish I had known about the "I think I'm going to throw up" excuse when I was younger.

Underwear

  • Fortunately for you, the whitey-tighties that are too loose or too tight around your legs are going out of style.
  • Super-loose boxers that leave everything flopping and bunch up in your butt are not the only alternative.
  • Snug fit expanding fabric boxers will minimize unwanted hard-ons, wedgies, poke-outs, and flop-outs. Wear a tight size.
  • Wear these at night under your PJ's to minimize nighttime sleep disruptions from erections.

Masturbation

  • Again, even though this is a big sitcom and "guy" joke, every normal young man does this.
  • Also known as "wet dreams" -- again a natural that happens to everyone and is not a source of embarrassment.
  • Sometimes this is the only relief from your hard-on tension or sexual feelings -- especially when young and single.
  • Masturbation is, by far, the superior choice relative to one-nighter, extra-marital, pay-for-sex, etc. alternatives.
  • Substitute masturbation for the temptation to engage in intercourse outside of marriage -- good choice.
  • The objective, then, is to manage this activity with character -- not to stop it or feel guilty about it if done "right".
  • Be careful to avoid injuring yourself by staying away from using anything that might be damaging.
  • Avoid porn stimulation because it associates sex with wrong behavior (promiscuous, adulterous) and bad people.
  • Avoid stupid ideas like telling anyone about your activities, "circle jerks", or social network publishing.
  • Pray for your future or current loving sexual relationship before and after.
  • Focus your thoughts on your future or current pure loving permanent relationship.
  • Exercise and work harder to use up more of your pent-up energy. Get busy with some important purpose in your life.
  • Don't make masturbation one of your major hobbies.
  • Shoot for once a week if you are young and single. Taper off as you get older.
  • Shoot for rarity if you are married -- like only when away on long trips or with major partner health issues.
  • This is a tough area, so give yourself a break.

Circumcized or Not

  • It doesn't really matter if you are or not. You'll be ok. People have been OK either way for centuries.
  • The computer rendering below will help you know whether you are or not.
  • You may find that you are semi-circumcised -- half-way between.
  • Here's a good website if you aren't: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/care-of-the-uncircumcised-penis 
  • If it bothers you a lot, you can have it done when you are an adult.
  • You need to wash under the foreskin after you pull it back or it will smell somewhat (not good).

 Circumcised and Non-circumcised Penis

Hanging to the Left

  • You may have looked in the mirror and noticed that you aren't 100% symmetrical.
  • Relax. No one else is, either. One source said most men will hang to the left. You? Who cares?

Breasts

  • Most young men don't really want "breasts" and you may get kidded about it if yours are larger than average.
  • I don't have a lot to help you with on this, so I will at least empathize with you because this was an issue for me.
  • All men have some breast tissue. If you are overweight, you will have more.
  • Some super-buff movie stars, NFL linemen, and bodybuilders are on the "more breast" side of average.
  • Sometimes this is your anatomy, excess estrogen or not enough testosterone.
  • This website might be helpful: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326637#exercises
  • The main thing is excess fat. Google "man boobs into muscle" for help.
  • A combination of exercise and diet can help tremendously -- and there are many other benefits of being in shape.

Urination issues

  • Drink enough water, and you can avoid many issues. 64 oz s day is a great goal.
  • Dark yellow urine is a sign of dehydration. You will get more cramps, get sleepy in class/meetings, not be as sharp.
  • If you can't pee strongly, drink more water and try Kegel exercises: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/mens-health/in-depth/kegel-exercises-for-men/art-20045074 (note that it may also help your sexual performance).
  • If you have blood in your urine, go to the doctor.
  • Drink more water or low-sugar (not classic Gatorade) low-calorie substitutes.

Cleanliness and Grooming -- front and back

  • Clean under your foreskin as mentioned in "Circumcision" above.
  • Try "Dude Wipes" in the rear department after a #2.
  • Trim (not shave) your pubic hair in front every 3 months or so.
  • Trim (not shave) your asshole hairs every 3 months to minimize cling-ons.
  • Go ahead, take a shower before sex -- and after before going back into public (we can smell you).

Getting Hit in the "Privates"

  • It hurts, but you probably won't die. If it wasn't a martial arts hit, you will recover in a few minutes.
  • Go ahead a soak up some attention for your 15 seconds of fame -- especially if a foul in basketball is involved.
  • Since I'm not a doctor: https://www.urologyhealth.org/urology-a-z/t/testicular-trauma
  • If something swells or turns black/blue -- get to the doctor ASAP.

Pregnancy

  • This involves your life, the mom's life, and the life of a new person -- so this isn't a time to mess around!
  • If you are going to make a mistake in your life, pick something "safe" like piloting an airplane without training (just kidding).
  • Don't count on someone else to have taken a pill, inserted a diaphragm, etc. unless you really know and trust them.
  • The person you know and trust may make a mistake, but you will co-own it if she does.
  • If you don't have intercourse, you won't get someone pregnant.
  • Visualize the pregnancy possibility before you have sex. Do you love the scenario you visualize?
  • If you use condoms, did you buy the best? Will you use them correctly or take a chance?
  • If you are using the "rhythm method", assume that you will have a pregnancy within the next three months.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

  • If you watch a lot of TV Sitcoms, you might think that this is a joke.
  • Does everyone get a free pass on STD's if they are a good person?
  • The truth is that modern medicine has a lot of therapeutics for STD's. They are good at developing new ones.
  • Another truth is that the process of getting well is rarely pleasant, inexpensive, and without lingering damage.
  • You can avoid almost all problems if you don't "exchange" any sexual fluids.
  • Condoms are fairly good. Birth control and diaphragms aren't "safe sex" at all when STD's are concerned.
  • Don't count on no new variants of STD's any more than you would count on no new COVID-19 variants.
  • https://health.mo.gov/living/healthcondiseases/communicable/stds/#:~:text=STDs%2FSTIs%20are%20either%20viral,active%20infection%20can%20be%20cured.

Condoms

  • Good protection against pregnancy.
  • Best protection, other than abstinance, against STD's.
  • Not a good idea to save a few bucks or get one from a random source.
  • People make the mistake of letting the need for "spontaneity" interfere with proper use.

Erections and ED

  • With all of the commercials on radio and TV, everyone probably considers this to be problem #1 in the world!
  • So, you always have the pills these days, but...
  • If you are truly interested in sex with your partner, the erection should take care of itself.
  • Don't try to have a basketball game on the TV in the background and pull this off.
  • Give yourself lots of time -- and don't accept an "instant erection" performance expectation from your partner.
  • Women may take several minutes to warm up. No problem. Give yourself the same amount of time.

Premature ejaculation

  • Try a lot more foreplay with your partner -- to the point where she is ready to come.
  • Think about something else -- like counting the spots on the headboard.
  • Keep her hands off of your "goodies" if that triggers you.

Infertility

  • Get tested earlier rather than later.
  • It isn't a failing on your part -- just something you were born with.
  • You can't spend your life agonizing over things you can't control.
  • I'll have to leave alternative pregnancy alternatives like IVF to you -- but there are many resources. 

Vasectomy

  • People make fun of this "snip-snip" operation and act like it is a big painful deal.
  • It is a minor operation, totally painless while in progress, and minimally painful afterwords.
  • Nonetheless, you can get a lot of good sympathy and appreciation from your partner.
  • It is minimal compared to the female equivalent, so you really should do it if that's the choice.
  • You may gain some weight afterward, but just exercise a little more and eat more protein.
  • You should have a lot more sex with accidental pregnancy out of the way.
  • If you have doubts about the need for more children in the future, use a sperm bank or adopt.

Health Warnings vs. False Alarms

Hernia

Prostate infections

Prostate Cancer

Testicular cancer